You don’t have to be fair to be lovely

Being a dusky skinned child in an Indian society is an experience all by itself. Being branded as one of the lesser fortunate ones, probably from the minute you are born, you grow up being pitied on by most of your community. Not to mention the countless advice you get on what fairness creams and turmeric and milk can do for your complexion. And in all fairness, it becomes hard to question their motives as the entire societal mindset is regressive enough to make these "well meaning" individuals truly feel like they come from a place of love and deep concern for your future.

As you grow older, and you have exhausted all the possible traditional hacks and high-end products, you embrace who you are. Not that you won’t get reminded of your ‘misfortune’, at extremely regular intervals but you somehow realize that sometimes, the only way to react to people is not to react at all.

But if you think running away from the aunties who ‘say it as it is’ solves the problem, you are in for some big trouble. Because it’s only when you actually step out into the real world, you see the true extent of superficial-ness around you and realize that, at every stage in your life, the way you look and carry yourself, matter as much as your biodata, be it in professional or personal arenas, no matter where you go.

Most women I know, don’t step out of their houses without a bare minimum make-up routine and don’t post pictures on social media without basic filters. And I truly acknowledge and respect that there are many confident women who love doing their makeup for themselves. But when one realizes that there are so many who have resorted to it as a tool for security and protection against judgement or bullying or shaming, it makes you pause and think of all the regressive ideals you have grown up with, that makes one feel like they need to conceal their 'imperfections' to conform to the accepted standards.

One can no longer ignore toxicity simply because it has been a part of the system for years. It is hard to change the mindsets of billions of people around you, but what you can do is recognize and acknowledge the wrongs that have happened to you and those around you and try to make it right or apologize for the times you have been wrong. Most importantly, raise your kids right and pass on the wisdom of acceptance and tolerance to them.

NO ONE should have to feel like they aren’t good enough for the world because of their skin colour.